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Gender Neutral [Jul. 17th, 2009|11:01 am]
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I was having a discussion on gender-neutral language pronouns about a week ago. I really don't like "Per" or "Ze," which are some of the more common pronouns. They sound fake and like something out of Star Trek.

I don't like "hir" either, because I don't identify as female, and when spoken, it sounds like "her." As an example, I pointed out that "hym" can be used as an alternate to "hir," which really pissed someone off, who didn't like that it sounded like the "default male." Which was kind of my point, after all.

So, I suggested "Citizen," which was used during the French Revolution to refer to people of all genders. This was met with the criticism that it would alienate people who are not documented residents of the country.

There is no good answer here, is there?
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I'm a 10-year-old boy at heart. [Jul. 15th, 2009|11:53 am]
This flowchart of things to say during sex is really funny. My new favorite, least-sexy line, is: "I'm going to pound the farts out of you." Ha!
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Ha! [Jul. 15th, 2009|09:40 am]
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Creepy. [Jul. 9th, 2009|10:56 am]
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OMG.

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Witchcraft post [Jul. 8th, 2009|09:38 am]
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Jay and I were talking about our spiritual practices last night, and I thought I'd write down what my Craft is about these days. So there's your warning: There's some serious Woo-Woo ahead.

I'm listening very carefully to what is happening around me. The Earth and the Sky are having a dialog, which is interesting and confusing at the same time. I have the sense that it's been going on for some time, but it just now reaching a climax.

After being told, while meditating, to "go through life with a prayer on your lips," I pray more than I ever did, and it has opened up a deeper connect with the Mysterious. Not that I lacked for that connection at all in the past--I've been god-bothered for some time. The connection is deeper now, more clear, more personal. I can smell Freya's perfume when she comes (it's floral and exotic, if you were wondering), for example. I always prayed, but usually not in a spontaneous way. Now, I find myself just talking to the Divine.

I am focusing more on spiritual practices that I find connect me with the Earth and with life, rather than practices that I feel disconnect me. In other words, more savoring the delights of the flesh, less poring over obscure texts.

I spend time with Freyr almost every day. He likes to work out with me. (I find it really easy to enter an altered state in the gym.) He's been talking about the usual things, some more mundane than usual. He likes to ask me how I'm living fully in my body, on the less mundane level. On the more mundane level, he really wants Brock Lesnar to win the heavyweight title this weekend. (Freyr really does like Minnesota Golden Gopher wrestlers, including Lesnar.) I'm a Frank Mir fan, myself.

Freya stops by more often than she ever did before this past year. Last year I got the sense that she was "too busy." Maybe having Brisingamen at my house this year is changing that? She wants me to get busy on the whole sustainable living thing.

Squat and the Dancing Queer God are around every time I enter trance or do any witchy work. They give such relentless support. I am deeply grateful for them.

After receiving some difficult news on Monday (My father has cancer, again. This time it's a pretty mild kind of bone marrow cancer.), I prayed that I would be an open enough vessel to contain all of the mysteries of this world, including those that are more painful. I prayed that I would be a container of life, including the fears and hurts and wounds that are part of life. Since then, a host of Mysterious Ones have been making their way through the house like old friends, checking on me. (I even got a visit from Kwan Yin, which is pretty rare.) I feel pretty self-possessed about the whole thing, so I'm guessing that what I'm doing may be working.
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Poem [Jul. 6th, 2009|11:37 am]
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A quick poem...



Forgive me, Goddess
if I have not loved enough, or sung loudly enough,
or if I have otherwise failed to delight in the
joys that permeate the fabric of my existence.

Forgive me, I pray,
if I have believed, in my weaker moments,
that the lavender flowers bloom for me alone
and if the birdsong exists for my ears only.

Gratitude fills me,
and overflows me, gratitude for this wonderment
we call "life," and pardon me a thousand pardons
if I have not fully lived each instant of it.
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A few updates [Jul. 6th, 2009|08:16 am]
1) I made a strawberry-rhubarb pie for the Fourth of July. It was fantastic. I remember a few years ago a piece on A Prarie Home Companion about rhubarb, in which rhubarb is described as "indehiscent," meaning that it does not release it's seed at maturity. Garrison Keillor suggested that perhaps rhubarb is the ideal Midwestern dessert--it's not too sweet, and it remains closed, keeping to itself as it were, like a good Midwesterner. I thought about that when I ate my rhubarb pie on Saturday, and again on Sunday morning with a cup of coffee.

2) Jay and I did a ton of yard work over the weekend. We put in a shade garden in a 20 x 8 foot part of the yard that had just been weeds. We filled the garden with hostas, ferns, an astilbe, wild geraniums and some annuals. It looks much better, and I'm glad that we did it. It felt good to get out in the yard and work with my hands for a while. Maybe I'll post pictures soon. I also put in a new rose bush, which I'm excited about. My roses are doing really well this year.

3) Jay and I went kayaking on Sunday, which was a new experience for me. I really enjoyed it, and it was easier than I expected. I think we'll go back again.

4) My partner has taken to calling his morning application of moisturizer "My daily devotional to Idunn." I think that's funny.
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Connection [Jun. 30th, 2009|08:48 am]
So, June is Pagan Values Month, I guess. I almost missed the boat.

For me, one of the key pagan values is connection. I've long said that "Witchcraft is all about creating and maintaining relationships." As I grow in my spirituality, I believe that more and more.

My ability to do magic doesn't come from my own awesome cosmic power, and it doesn't even come from my ability to impose my will on the outside world. It comes from the relationship that I have with the sacred elements of life--Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit. It comes from the relationships that I have with my magical/mysterious allies.

I can express this in some pretty poetic ways: The Earth is my friend, the Air is my brother, and so on. The deeper truth is that I treat my magical allies in the same way as I would treat my flesh and blood allies. If I had a favor to request of a friend, I wouldn't call them and demand it. "Dave: I bind you to the task of getting me another beer!" Even if Dave did it, he would eventually start to see that I am a douche-bag. I view my magical relationships in mostly the same way. I don't want Freyr or the Fey or Fire to view me as a cosmic douche-bag, either.

I have started recommending Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior as an introductory text on Witchcraft without a hint of irony. Yes, because I've seen Witches (and other pagans, of course) interact with one another in ways that seem to suggest that they were raised by truculent wolverines, but also because I believe that consideration for others is and essential and foundational tool of the Witch. It's not about politeness or etiquette: It's about remembering that the world really is imbued with the spirit of the Divine, and that maintaining a good, working relationship with the Universe is the first step to magical practice.

That also means that I've started to forgo magical traditions and practices that I feel are more disconnecting than connecting. Recently, in a workshop that I was teaching, I had a brief conversation about working with Elements and working with other tools, such as the Iron pentacle. The other individual took the perspective that there was more to be gained from the other tools than from the Elements. While I do not for a moment question the validity of the other tools (particularly the Iron Pentacle, which I have personally found useful), I also feel that either failing to tend or avoiding the deepening of a relationship with the Elements of life leads to a distracted, un-anchored spiritual practice. I commented to my partner last night that the act of baking a pie, with magical intention, in which the ingredients are chosen carefully and which is crafted with spells, can be more magical for me by far than poring over obscure occult texts. Not that obscure texts aren't useful--it's that I believe that the practice of pagan spirituality seeks to unify us with our sacred bodies, with the sacred earth. Some practices are more connecting, others are more disconnecting--and the disconnecting practices aren't harmful, but I feel they need to be tempered with practices that connect us with our world, our immanent Divinity.
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When did that happen? [Jun. 29th, 2009|07:59 am]
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So, since I started martial arts, I have lamented that my stand-up fighting is not as solid as my grappling. Somehow, grappling just makes more sense to me than any kind of stand-up. I would go to the gym and spar, and I would eat lots of punches, until I just said "Fuck it" and took the other guy down. Then I had a fighting chance. Eventually, I stopped going to the MMA gym, partly because I got sick of eating punches, but mostly because the class schedule was no longer working for my schedule. Even so, over the past year or so I've continued to train in the hybrid Silat style privately, and I've continued to spar occasionally. I've kept doing bag work and shadow boxing, because it's great exercise and I enjoy it.

Well, on my way to Midwest Witchcamp, I visited a friend in Indianapolis who is training for a MMA bout in a few months. We did some sparring while I was there, and it was a blast. We wrestled for about 45 minutes to a stalemate. Neither of us got a submission on the other, but it was a pretty good match even so.

But then we did some stand-up sparring, and I totally took him. It wasn't even that close. I could just tell what he was going to do, and I could counter it. I slipped his punches, blocked his kicks, stepped inside his hooks... It was pretty cool. He would kick, I'd catch it and take him down. I got tagged a few times (everyone does), but he was the one who called it quits after I gave him a couple of quick hooks to his jaw.

Anyway, the point of this is that I'm really surprised at how my stand-up game is coming. Maybe he's just not all that good, or maybe the MMA scene in Indy isn't as tough as the one in Detroit (which I'm tempted to believe, since nothing in Indy is as tough as it is in Detroit--ha!). But I guess a year of private lessons and practicing several times a week really does matter, huh?

I do wish that I'd discovered that I'm good at combat sports years ago, say when I was a teenager, instead of a 30-something yuppie. But even so, it's nice to know that I can still learn new skills, even when I think that I can't.
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Religion Meme [Jun. 24th, 2009|11:25 am]
1. What faith were you born into or raised with (if any)?

I was raised a Southern Baptist, which is a type of Baptist and not a geographical location. It was pretty strict--no dancing, no playing cards, no work of any kind on Sunday, women weren't allowed to vote in church matters and women weren't allowed to teach Sunday school to boys over the age of 12.

2. Were you devout as a child/adolescent?

I was deeply devout. I wore out the knees in my pants praying. I was an ace student in Sunday school. When I asked difficult questions, they were difficult because they were more thoughtful than the teacher was prepared for, not because they were heretical.

3. If you are not currently practicing your childhood faith, what led you away from it?

Initially, it was the realization that I was gay, which occurred when I was about 13 or so. Then the whole religion seemed to fall apart like a house of cards.

Today, the problems I have with Christianity are: 1)Original sin. I can't believe that children come into the world tainted by the sin of Eve, or by the procreative act that their parents engage in nine months earlier. 2) Necessity of an external redemption. I believe that God would have created humans with the seeds of our own redemption inside of us, not to rely on an external savior. 3) Divinity of Jesus. I don't think that Jesus was any more of God than anyone else who has lived.

4. How many religious denominations, traditions, and/or groups have you belonged to?

Several. I spent a bunch of years searching various traditions, and I tried on (more or less) Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism, Unitarianism, and Wicca.

5. How would you describe your religion now?

I'm a Witch. I choose to practice in the Reclaiming tradition. The word "Witch" is sometimes a problem, but I believe that I can tell fortunes, cast spells, talk to trees and animals and rocks and ghosts... What would you call that if not "Witchcraft?"

6. How long have you been practicing that religion?

This time around, I've been a Witch for about 10 years or so. I did practice Witchcraft in high school, but that was before I drifted away from it in college and went on my spiritual journey.

7. Do you pray? If so, how?

Yes. I speak to Mysterious Ones informally and formally. I like prayer beads a great deal. Once, when meditating, I got a clear message from a Mysterious One who said, "Go through life with a prayer on your lips." So, now, I try to pray more often.

8. Do you practice magic? If so, do you distinguish it from prayer?

I do practice magic, and I do distinguish it from prayer. Prayer is more conversational, while magic is more like working to bring about desired changes through spiritual processes. It's like the difference between talking about doing the dishes, and actually doing the dishes.

9. Do you work with divinatory oracles like Tarot, astrology, the Runes, etc?

Yes I do. I very much like the Runes. The Runes are intensely deep, and I'm just now starting to see how deep they really are, after working with them for years. I'm getting into the Rune poems, which can be like Koans in their own way. For example: Wealth /source of discord among kinsmen/ and fire of the sea/ and path of the serpent.

10. Describe your personal concept of God/dess/Higher Power/etc.

I believe that the gods are many and the gods are one. I believe that there is a unified source--and that even people and plants and rocks and televisions and whatever are part of that source, too. There isn't much difference, on a spiritual level, between me and another human. Likewise, there isn't much difference between the Mysterious Ones. However, I also know that I am not capable of holding the real mystery of Divinity in my mind, and so the Mysterious Ones come to me as individual beings, and I can relate to them that way. I consider myself a hard polytheist, however, because I see the differentiation between MOs as the same differentiation between individual humans.

11. How does your religion/spirituality explain the concept of/presence of evil?

"Evil" is a human judgment, not an absolute concept. And I believe that evil arises from a tear in the fabric of empathy. In general, I think that morals are not an area of concern for religion. I know--how radical! I think that secular humanism should inform religious morals. I'm a human first, then a religious person. And I think that my morality should follow that pattern. I really believe that the idea that morals arise out or religion is a monotheistic ideal, and not a polytheistic one.

12. Is music and/or dance important to your path? Why or why not?

Yes, deeply. I find that music and dance are gates to ecstatic experience--that is, the ability to lose personal boundaries and unify with the Divine.

13. What is your concept of the afterlife?

I think we get absorbed back into a divine source, after a while. But really, I'm pretty unclear on the afterlife. I believe that my religion teaches that there here-and-now is more important than the afterlife. (That's what's meant when we say that pagan faiths are "Earth-based"--they view this life as sacred and valuable, not just a proving grounds for the afterlife.)

14. Do you believe in ghosts, spirits, Faeries, devas, and/or other beings beyond ordinary perception?

Yes. I've met them.

15. If you have children, are you raising them in your religion/spirituality? Why or why not?

I probably would. And I would encourage them to try on other faiths as well. I wouldn't want them to feel trapped and have a crisis the way that I did as a child, but I do think that my values and my spirituality are important, and I would want to pass them on.
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Midwest Witchcamp 2009 [Jun. 23rd, 2009|10:02 am]
I just returned from Midwest Withcamp, and it was wonderful. The camp was small--16 campers, 3 weavers, and 4 teachers, for a total of 23 people. And the story was challenging--The Wizard of Oz. Despite this, it was a lovely camp.

We (the teachers) were worried about the size of the camp, and we set the intention that camp would be an intimate experience. We worked to set up a container with the intention that people could form deep, close connections with everyone at camp. We used a variety of ritual models, incorporating small group work and partners work, in order to facilitate that connection.

We had some concerns about the story--The Wizard of Oz. So we took a step away from the story a bit. Even though we incorporated the story into the camp, the common thread was the Charge of the Goddess--which is very much like the story of The Wizard of Oz: The Charge tells us: "If that which you seek, you find not with yourself, you will never find it without." Dorothy, in The Wizard, says, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard--because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." We looked at the characteristics that the Charge mentions--beauty and strength, honor and humility, power and compassion, mirth and reverence--and the ways in which the companions meet the challenges on the Yellow Brick Road with courage, love and wisdom.

The path I taught, on working with personal pentacle magic, was powerful. We did some amazing shadow work. We honored our allies by creating prayer beads (thanks, Donald!). I saw that some of the people made really beautiful necklaces, and they wore them throughout the camp. Among other work, we made prayer flags to invoke our "heart's desire." There was laughter and tears, breakthroughs and celebration.

The evening rituals were lovely, culminating in a ritual in which each participant was honored as being "wise, brave, and loved." (The three virtues that the companions are seeking in The Wizard.) And then they were reminded that they "know the way Home." There were many tears and smiles. It was a powerful ritual, from my perspective. As a teacher, it made me feel so good to be able to take each person by the hand, step with them into the center of the circle, and honor them individually. I don't think we could have done that with a bigger camp, and it was just amazing. As I watched people tear up and smile, and become more aware of their own power, and recognize in a tangible way that they really do have what they seek inside of them already, it reminded me of just why I teach magic. Teaching Witchcraft lets me watch people open themselves up, take risks, claim their power, and be their full human selves.

I loved the site as well. Diana's Grove is so beautiful, and the creek that flows through it is just the right thing on a hot Missouri afternoon. And it did get hot--at one point the heat-humidity index was over 100 degrees. But the pace of the week was leisurely and full of ease, and people stayed hydrated and migrated to the creek or the air conditioned public spaces to cool down.

We had a dance party, which at first seemed out of place at a Witchcamp, but which turned out to be fabulous. We danced under the stars, and it was like dancing with the Star Goddess Herself. Since we were invoking the Star Goddess and talking about Her all week, it felt good to throw my arms up into the air while dancing, and to be reminded that the multiverse is dancing its own eons-long dance.

To be sure, not everyone had as lovely an experience as I did. Camp never "works" for everyone. But even so, almost every person appeared to be having a fantastic experience, and the feedback that we got from the campers was overwhelmingly positive. (The "What would you like to see improved or changed?" question was answered with things like, "I'd like more light in the bathroom.") (As for my own experiences of the difficulties of this camp, I might write another post on the long and difficult process that was the creation of the teacher team for this camp. That process was unpleasant, to say the least.)

Overall, I feel that camp as a renewing and recharging experience. I am glad that I get to teach Witchcraft. I am deeply grateful to have worked with this story and with this size camp. I am grateful to have been on this teaching team, which worked so very well together. And, I am so deeply grateful and feel so blessed to have had this constellation of campers, who were willing to do this work and to go to an intimate and vulnerable space--and who shined so brightly.
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(no subject) [Jun. 8th, 2009|09:17 am]
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Jay and I went to MotorCity Pride on Sunday, which was pretty cool. We went with a friend of mine, who had never been to a Pride fest before. That was fun--it's cool to watch someone else see, for the first time, how large the queer community is.

We finished the evening with steaks and chocolate cake on the patio. Yum.

Saturday night Jay and I saw the Detroit Symphony play Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra. It's an amazing piece, and my favorite in the classical repertoire. Bartok wrote it as he was dying of leukemia, weighing less than 100 pounds. It begins with a dark, angry exposition movement, evoking a dark night of the soul. The second movement is a lighter work, a "game of pairs" in which instruments are paired up to explore the possible colors and textures of the orchestra. The third movement is a beautiful elegy. The fourth movement is a lighter intermezzo, with a brief parody of Shostakovich's Seventh Symphony, and the final movement is a triumphant work full of vitality. I believe that Bartok wrote this work as he came to terms with his own mortality.

Go listen to it, if you want:

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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2009|02:03 pm]
I have locked myself out of the computer system at work twice today. I have had to call the state health department twice, and tell them that I forgot my password. The first time was mildly embarassing; the second time was just irritating.

That is all.
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Very, very funny. [Jun. 2nd, 2009|09:02 am]
This made me spew coffee.


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Back [Jun. 2nd, 2009|08:12 am]
I had a great time in Minneapolis. The meeting was productive, the workshop was good. I am grateful to have been able to re-connect with friends, and to have been welcomed so warmly.

The flights out and back were very nice, except for a slight delay in my return flight.

Thank you to everyone who attended the workshop, and to everyone who made my trip so fabulous!
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(no subject) [May. 26th, 2009|12:00 pm]
Detroit has the potential to become one of the coolest cities in the world. Unless, of course, local government fucks it up good and proper.

Here's a graphic depicting one vision of Detroit, as a series of "villages" withing the current city limits, each village connected to the others with public transportation and greenways. Between the villages--wild space and farm land.
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Weekend pictures [May. 26th, 2009|10:01 am]
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I like long weekends.

Saturday evening Jay and I had a lovely dinner on the patio. I made fajitas, and they were fabulous. After, we sat in the yard and talked, and watched the cats and the chickens.

Click for pictures )
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2009|12:14 pm]
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Quote [May. 22nd, 2009|08:18 am]
"Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword."
--Mark Twain



I just wanted to share that.
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Hello there [May. 21st, 2009|11:09 am]
This has been a good week. It's sunny, and I do love it when it is sunny. Last night I took some time to sit on the patio with my computer, and just enjoy the evening while working. The chickens and the cats ran around the yard, enjoying late spring in their own way.

My partner's birthday is coming up, and I have no idea what to get him. (As usual.) Any suggestions?
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